I fucked up. I really fucked everything up. I am literally the stupidest human ever. I had the best girl in the world and i screwed it up and lied for so long.  I’m such a horrible person. I just want to fix everything with you. I need to make us right. I fucked up. I am a completely different person now. I would never ever do anything to hurt you ever again. You have always treated me perfectly. You have always been perfect. In every possible way. I just want to die. If i can’t fix things I don’t know what i will do with myself. I’ve never been a suicidal person, but this might turn me into one and I don’t want that. I just want you Ciarra. I am sooooooooooo sorry. I lied for so long and I’m sorry. I just wanted to make everything better since it happened. I have changed so much. I’m so different and I want you to see it. I need you to. I will never hurt you again. I just need this chance to fix everything. I know I can do it. Please :( I love you so much and need us to be together. I’m sorry for fucking us up. I was stupid. I fucked up. Please let me fix us. Please please please :(